What life is living for.

This is my blog. Started as school to create anything you want it to be. Just like in Freedom Writers. I just watched the movie and seemed inspired. Though this my sound pathetic and my sister would laugh, but to me it's something to look for. Though I can a sure you no one in my class or even school has been on this since the last time we where forced but to me this is something to get out of my head. Like something you really need to tell but can't just tell anyone. Like how my mother is brutally sick with Huntington disease, That is something I wouldn't just tell anyone at my age of 14 going into Freshman year. But to this is like a diary you are dying for someone to read but no one every really does. This thing will probably last me 2 days tops but this is something i need to tell someone but just can't. Like how I had a dream of how god gave my mom 24 hours just live without her disease. I don't remember my mom with out it so to me this was a mirical. It showed me hope of maybe being a cure for this but I know there probably wont be. To me this is just like something I don't know. It just gave me reassurance that my mom is still there and loves me. Like how My mom can't speak because of her medicine holds her joints to help control her motions but when she struggle as hard as she could to "scream" literary just made me burst into tears because my mom was still there even though she doesn't live with me but with other people with struggles. To recall this moment makes me feel upset and tearful now but This is a moment I wont ever forget Though that made me happy I can't stop but to feel this sad pain inside to just have her back, I am use to all of this how she sin't home it just isn't the same. I just want a mother. Not just any but mine 'cause I know for fact she wants her daughters back too. This to me is a sign for god. I don't believe ever getting one but I can believe this is one from him. telling me that my mom still loves me and always will. Though my grandpa die from this disease at the age of 56 I believe and This disease grows bigger and more controll over the years of life you live and the older the harder my mom will fight through this. I don't know how much longer she has until gone because she is only 47 But the medicine is has been more effective It worries me for what my future holds my mom wont be able to experience it with me. That is what I am afriad of the most. Not spiders or getting caught with something I regret but nothing having my mother live her life with me and how we both want it to go and how we control it. That's the ting. You can never control something in life and that's what I want because if i could This si number one of what I would change in this world. Is not jsut my suffer but other people suffers. Though this might not have effect on anyone But this has effect on me and how i life and how i get my emotions out because to me this is my drainage that i need to release. This isn't my only problem. Oh god no I have a ton more but this letting it out just makes me feel better. Casue I have a bunch on the top of my head. Like my weight, love, My friends and ect. But this one hurts one of the most because not everyone has or feels the same pain as you do.
To this might not seem like something you want to live for. But having that smige of hope keeps me holding strong. Hope is what life is living for.

What happens in Dominican Republic Doesn't stay in the Domincican Republic.

This was the Vaction of my life. 5 out the the seven days it raind. Yes I know what your thoughts must be. "Oh that sucks, or how would it be fun if you could do nothing." That's the thing, Though it wasn't sunny I had my sister to hang out with, I could swim and My sister and I met freinds there that we would never forget about them. Though everyone in my grade knows what I did their and it wasn't the smartest disicon but it was one of the best times of my life. I don't understand how it got around school so quickly even though I told the all of my freinds but I'm so pissed they told everyone. They also told poeple the thing I surely dont't want them to know. My friends alwasy joke around sayin my not "B.A." And I'm not. I don't get grounded and I dont kiss random guess.(well.. haha) and I don't share my body with anyone els. But one night in some other place in a diffrent country that is leaked at your school can change that stero type. And once I look back on it I perfer to be that safe girl that never gets in trouble. Becasue that wasn't like me to do something out of the comfert zone that I'm use to. And joking about something and then it comes true is so weird. Because it's kidnof like a dream, that came true and that never happens to me. NEVER. But the thing I'm worried the most is that people wont look at me the same. They will look at me like I'm some girl who will do something with you that is out of question. And I wont. I mean like I don't like the way people I don't nessecarly talk to look at me diffrent. Yes I know I shouldn't care what other people think but when you have all theese eyes looking at you think of somethine you don't like sharring is kindof intimidating and If you were in place I think you could understand. And reading this even though I know no one will but wish everyone would I hope you can understand where I'm coming from.

Putacana, Domincan Republic, my thoughts.

Today May, 21, '10; AT 2:30 pm I am leaving for a wild ride to a place I don't even know about. I'm excited but it hasn't kicked in yet that I'm on my way to a diffrent country, let alone going alone with my sister minous my dad. The plan is that my sister and I are heading to the Chicago airport and we are leaving to the PA turnamal to meat up my Aunt Christien and Uncel Dave who are going to drive us to a hotel near by to stay with my grandma (Bonnie, I call her mom-mom); also mom-moms best freind since before I was born who is also my other grandma is Anna Martin. She's from Cuba who moved here all alone with a bunch a kids at the age of 16 who wouldn't be shiped to Russia, so long story short.

My freinds and I always joke about how I'm going to tap's some forgien guys while I'm there, but I haft to keep this school aporpreite for my class meats who ever reads this, which is going to be zero but meh, who cares? But I suck at spanish and if people there speack it or some "forgie hot guy" does maybe I could hire a tutor :) but that is all a joke, like legit? Who is going to tutor me in teh middle of no were in the middle of the Caribian Sea? Just about no one. I can tell you that much.

While I'm there I am planning to read about a 9082374832 books. (Yes I am a book nerd now thanks to my lovely freind Micheala Rose Klimko, a.k.a Mikki, Sounds like Mickey.) But the only dout is I might read a book in 3rd person which I absolutly hate and I only read 1st person that there's a cahllange I probally wont even start. I'm not the kindof person who has motavation to go ahead and chalange myself, I usaly take the easy way out of EVERYTHING. Legit. I know that word sounds like what a valley girl would say but it's the only word I can say to get my point taken.

So right now my teacher is saying finish up what I am working on so if I have the strength to write/ type anything els I will, but that means just another challange and again, I don't do go with them. I will probally think about ti and gather everything I haft to say and not do it. So fare well and maybe you might read the second addition maybe, "Bon voje."....? Idk but you got the drift.

Best feeling.

The best feeling I is being summarized. The other night I had Volleyball awards/ end of the year party. When it got times for the awards Everyone gathered around and listen who got what. Though the first was was Best spirit, that was kind of a givin' to me, because I am the loudest and most obnoxious one on the team. Even the other teams thought that. It was my award and we all started laughing 'cause it was so obvious. The next award was best hitter. Though I am not bad at hitting, I have 3 other very strong hitters. My couch went on about how the award winner could hit where ever he told her to and when to hit it, to dump it or tip it. But then I heard my name being called off and I was very suprized. There are three of my other friends who can hit just as good, and I'm proud that I got it, and all my team mates voted that for me. The it came last one The MVP. My couch when on and on about how he was glad to have this person on our team and he was happy she got voted for it and ect. But I then heard him call my name and I couldn't tell you how soprizes I was to get this award.I was sure my other friend Aaron would have gotten it. But I am very happy becasue it made me even happier that my team thinks that way about me. I would like to thank them for a great season and the best feeling in the world. The feeling where you don't know something happy is going to happen.

Book Review. Avalon High

The other day I have just finished the book Avalon High. It was really good besides the book was a little slow. The book was great and all but I just wanted to head to the romance part…. As usual. I think this book gave me great information about mi devil times, such as King Author and Lance Olot. Or what even lances real name is. But the story goes a lot like it and it made me not just read for fun and like the book but learn a lot. But the story goes like this. A. William Wagner(the a stands for Aurther.) Then the next Character is Aurther's best friend, Lance. The third character is Jennifer, Authers first girlfriend who leaves him for lance. The the main Character Elle, who loves to just float in her pool, Like The lady of the lake and king Auther "died" but what people didn't know what that Lady of lakes saved Author. And that brings me to my next character Marco, The evil step brother who makes a plan to kill Author (Will.) But it all may seem confusing but really it is a great book. Just a warning You might want to skim some parts cause it can get boring.

My 1st poem,

I got this idea from the book Avalon High,and if you read it you will probably have a better understanding it. Haha enjoy.

My head is aching,
My heart is pounding,
My stomach is twirling,
And I am falling.

My found a secret,
That I may not tell,
Because I’m protecting,
The one I love.

The girl he’s with
May seem so innocent
But really she with the one
The one he trusts.

Though my feelings fell so great,
I’m doing the best,
To keep him safe,
He doesn’t know what will hit him,
If I tell the little secret that he shouldn’t know,
Then I’ll be next on the females list.

Though this may be the sad ending,
I have a feeling I will have more to tell,

Historical Fiction 1

Dr. Marry Edward walker Diary
September 18, 1856
Dear Diary,
Today I felt traumatized, little did I know that someone so innocent can get so brutally hit with a INFANTRY and suffer through the wounds that hit him. I remember a group of men with a dark blue cotton jacket, bringing in this young man around the age of 19 inside the room. Blood was all over his face and body. His eyes were about to close but I was the one to haft to keep him awake. My job was to wash his face off with a wash cloth. The doctor is trying take the bullets out and sewing up his wounds on his arm; the expression of his pain on his face made me tear up. The shriek of his yell makes me feel like I can feel his pain. I keep on sh-shing him to calm down , and it will be over soon. I tried saying how this will all be worth it in the end. At last I’m down washing him down from the dirt and blood; and the doctor is finally done with the stitches. But I can still hear this young boy whimpering. His eyes are bloodshot for the tears running down his face. I know this look bad but I am fairly sure this will be okay in the end.

November 11, 1865
Today was one of the most important days of my life, President Johnson signed a bill to give to me of the Medal of honor for Meritorious Service. This excites me so much, to be honored with this award, to be the only women to receive this award. I can still remember walking out to great President Johnson. I walked onto a blue carpeted down the hall of the White House about to walk into the Blue Office. The security grad was with me for whatever reason. He asked me “are you ready to go in?” I reply with a nod. I remember walking in and seeing writers and the President sitting at his table. My husband was sitting by the writers giving me a smile. The President stud up and handed me the document. Never in my life have I smiled so hard.

May 23, 1863,
Today I was captured by the south, Where I am now I have I do not know. I worry for my husband because he didn’t know about my plan of “ becoming a man.” Though he did question why I cut my hair as short as him. The person who kidnapped me locked me in a cellar. No food, no water. I try banging on the doors but no one will answer me. I remember people talking about taking me to a castle where the general is or what not. I am just worried that people will find me as not a man anymore. That they will find out about my little secret . Though this isn’t my place to be there is no way out of this dudgeon cell. I have no contact with my husband or family, but soon enough I have a feeling that the Union will save me. Though this is not the place to be for a women I will haft to fight through this battle. And I will win.









Bibliography


"Dr. Mary Edwards Walker - Surgeon, Spy, Suffragette." Prisoner of War, Proponent of Style and Congressional Medal of Honor Winner . AUG Link, n.d. Web. 17 Apr. 2010.
“Mary Edwards Walker." About North Georgia. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Apr. 2010.
Leonard, Elizabeth D. All the daring of the soldier : women of the Civil War armies. New York: Penguin Books, 2001.

Society, The C.W. The American Civil War; a multicultural encyclopedia. Danbury, Connecticut: Grolier, 1994.

Chapter 3..?

It’s now 3:30 and James left about an hour ago. I can’t fall asleep to my parents laughter with they’re party going on, and saying goodbye to a couple of friends who just left. I give up and I turn on the T.V. The only thing that interested me is the cheesy blender infomercial and Jersey Shores. The sound of both shows bother me to their loud voices and cheesy music playing the back ground. A half n hour past and I’m still awake trying to close the noises away from all my parents friends leaving. I hear a thud or like more like a tick sound hit my window. I’m too lazy to get up but then I hear my name calling.
“Ali!” a person calls out in a whisper." I get out of bed there looking out my window and right by It is James on my roof.
“Are you crazy? It’s four o’clock in the morning!”
“I know but I couldn’t sleep, because I haft to tell you something that I didn’t say before. I have all this guilt built inside of me, and I want you to know I am truly sorry because none was my attention, and I told you I love you today because I truly do, and I didn’t want to hold it if I didn’t have enough time left.
“Did you cheat on me?’ I’m really scared. Did he say he loved just for a cover or I don’t know>
“No, not that.”
“Are you moving?”
“No, I’m not moving, well I don’t know, well mayb-, not never mind. But what I’m trying to say is that I’m sick.”
“Well what kind of sick? Like a kissing disease you can give me?”
“Haha no, um but you don’t want to hear it because I have Cancer.”
I huge wave hit me as hard as if I would have crashed into the coral reef. I let James in, we are sitting on my rug in front my bed. We are across from each other. It’s silent for a second and I am starting to tear up.
“When did you find this out?”
“About 2 days ago?”
“So they found a tumor or..?”
“They found a tumor a while ago in my chest, they removed it and said it was Cancerous and I ended up getting it, I got the results earlier and that’s when it happen.”
“So where you getting the surgery when you were “Sick” for that week?”
“Yeah. I’m starting chemo therapy tomorrow. This is why I wanted to tell you now."
"You know I will always by on your side."
"Yeah."
To be continued..

The Godfather Death

Life is like an infomercial; it tells you one thing that may seem great, but then it may feel like it crashes down on you a million times. Life has many struggles to it, such as choosing which sport you want to play, what outfit you to wear, or if you want Death or God as your godfather. In the “God Father’ by Jacob and William Grim the main character tells about how a man struggles through life and has to make life changing choices.


In the story "God Father", a person that plays a large part is the godfather. Without him the choice between Death or God would have no meaning. Death symbolizes well of coarse death. It means that something may seem good at first but if you change it, it’s a world full of misery. Although some good can come out of death as your godfather, you can never die unless you potare death itself. Death tricks the main character because he know he is going to have to kill him because he is death, and he symbolizes great loss and much sadness; that is what death does exactly to people. It is sad but that is life, and you can take it’s meaning away even though you may want to. Death is ghastly, and what he stands for, what he symbolizes is a great loss.


Though deaths means passinga away, Herbs within the book means life and happyness. In thestory “God Father” hearbs are a great happyness that symbolizes life. In the story herbs brings people who are dieng back to life magicaly. Herbs smbolizes life because that is what it what it exactly does, brings people to life. The harbs also stands for life and happyness and joy, because having the blessing to have a life to live. Herbs get rid of sadness and bring joy. They a a symbol that that everyone would like to have. Though death brings wretchedness hearbs bring a great happyness no one wants to lose.


Life is like T.V comericals. They persaid you to think one way to to trick you into another. Though death is harsh and they may seem like it is good, actaully it’s going to bite you in the butt in the end. On the other hand, herbs can bring life an dhappyness and wont hurt you no matter what. No matter what life may brings you it may not always be a happy ending

The Lake, Chapter 2

Chapter 2
James arrives about 5 min later and I hear him walk down to the beach. He sits right next to me and pulls me into his lap. With his right arm around me. I feel secure, like nothing is going wrong. But I feel a senses of he is hiding something. But I don’t bother to question at this moment , I feel like nothing can better than this. I’m still laying in his lap. After a while he takes off his sweatshirt and lets me put it on. He’s playing with my hair, twisting it in his figure. I love him so much right now. I feel so safe in his arms, like there is nothing going on. I feel like I’m in bed and I’m wrap in my blankets and I can’t get up because I’m to warm.
“What do you think of me?” James ask.
“What do you mean?” I reply.
“Just what do you think of me in general.”
I just look up at the stars, I never notice the way they look at night before.
“Well I know you sweet and kind. And you are super handsome. And I know you never do anything to hurt me because I trust you.”
There’s a weird look on his face, he sallow’s hard. I get up and sit on my butt with one hand in the stand.
“Is there something you should tell me?” He pauses for a second. “James?
“No there isn’t, why would you ask.”
"Because you seem like you hiding something. Are you?"
"No."
"Don't lie!"
"I'm not."
"Okay, I believe you." I have a smile on my face, so does James. I lay on his abs again. I feel like this is what a relationship is suppose to be. We talk for a little bit, about how his basketball is going, and how he wants to play for Duke and I talk about how my volleyball is going and I want to play for UCLA or Penn State even though I'm not good enough. And if I go to ULCA because I want to, we will be on the other side of the country but right now that's the last thing I want to think about. Were both are laying in the sand and his arm is wrapped around my back and my head in on his shoulder and one hand on his chest. We are both looking up at the sky. I see a shooting star and point it out.
"What do you wish for?" James ask.
"Well if I tell you then it wont come true."
"Yah but you can tell me."
"Well I wished for that everything will be perfect at the end of the school year."
"What about you?"
He has a paused look at his face. And lets out a breath. He looks at me and smiles saying ,
"I hope for the same."
He leans down and kisses me. I feel a huge buzz in my body, like a adrenalin rush when I'm on a coaster. I have a great feeling this year will have a good ending to it.